June 2007


This is a little long to read but funny…..the men might not think so though 🙂

“It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there’s nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Jim. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Peggy. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Peggy to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.

Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don’t yell at her.
Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the men’s Men’s Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I’m ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it’s not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won’t clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining. For example she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take ’em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won’t have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn’t hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I’m a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Peggy. I’m not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.

However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.

Signed,
Jim”

EDITOR’S NOTE:
Jim died suddenly on May 27 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing and a sledge hammer laying nearby.

His wife Peggy was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 15 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Jim somehow, without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.

With this kind of money to be earned they will never stop the drug trade…..Heard this was found at a house in Mexico…Bwoy…..”Wha you do wid so much money????????” Anyway  let me not say anything about it as they might come looking for me 🙂

See link for the story, which also shows some pics of the money being stored here

Well, I spent the entire weekend at the stadium from Friday to Sunday…I am an athletics fan so i had a great time…Worried though about all the injuries and threat of injuries…..Was glad to see the Bolt breaking Quarries 30 odd year record for the 200m. He has def matured as a runner and has put on some weight….but what is up with both him and Asafa with watching the clock as they run throught he tape….his time would be a lot faster if he hadnt done that…Campbell is also looking good, her trainer needs to get her to improve her “start”…..Was looking forward to see how the young Blake (who they are touting to be the next Asafa) would have done but he pulled out after making it to the finals…..injury again….Also very worried about Asafa’s groin injury….I wonder if they would let me treat him 🙂 i am sure i could help out there….( i am not in the habit of looking at mens uhm privates….but you cant help but notice his) anyway back to it…..he pulled up twice in the 100m and STILL won and in a time of 10.04……Bwoy that fast u nuh……….Even Tyson Gay (who i suspect is dosing up) shouldnt beat him if he is at his best……Looking forward to the world championships…should b e fun, just hope our team will stay healthy enough to make us proud…..Asafa really needs the medal at a world level even though he has the record now……..

See pic of womens 100 just before the start below..Courtesy of Outerspace (I didn’t walk with my camera)

I know about 3 types of lying……The outright blatant lie, the lying by ommision where you dont give the whole story and the techincal lie where the answer you give is not a lie but definitley not the answer to the question you know is being asked…..The priest in the joke below is def guilty of techincal lying…………..

“A distinguished looking young lady is on a flight returning from London. She finds herself seated next to a priest and asks”Excuse me father, may I ask a favor of you?”

“Well of course Miss, what can I do for you?” he replies.

“Here’s the dilemma, I purchased for myself, a superbly sophisticated electronic hair remover. I paid a lot of money for it. I really went well over the limits set forth by Customs, and I fear they will confiscate it from me. Could you perhaps secret it through Customs for me under your robes?”

“I certainly could my dear, only I must warn you I really am not ever able to lie…” You have such an honest face father, surely they will never ask any questions of you,” and with that she hands him the hair remover.

After landing they proceed through Customs and it becomes the father’s turn in line.

“Father, do you have anything to declare?” asks the Customs officer.

“From the top of my head to my waist I have nothing to declare my son.”

Finding this answer a little strange the Customs officer proceeds to ask, “And from the waist to the floor, what do you have to declare?”

The father replies, “I have a marvelous little instrument destined to be used on a woman, but which has never yet been used…”

Roaring with laughter, the Custom’s officer says, “Go right through father.
Next!”

It has been a long time since I have played a  good game of Pictionary or Taboo……This joke I got reminded me of maybe why 🙂 Seriously though, those games used to casue some serious fights!!!!

I was tagged by Madbull to do this meme about me……..

The game is thus:

  1. Players start with 8 random facts about themselves
  2. Those who are tagged should post these rules and 8 random facts about themselves
  3. Then tag 8 other people and notify them that they have been tagged

Not sure these wud be considered random….but here goes….

  1. I am afraid of roaches….they really freak me out, i cant kill them not even the teeny tiny ones…now thisis nto a case of the regular woman being afraid of creepy crawlers, because nothing else scares me, not lizards, spiders nor even rats…….
  2. I have been blessed with good friends…….(real bonafide bredrens) who have been around me most of my life…and a few more recent…and for that i am very very appreciative and even though i dont mention this to them much, if at all…i think/hope they all know…..
  3. I think i am fat!!!!(okay which woman duznt think that about themself) seriously though i am kinda obsessed with my weight and the “need” to be slimmer than i am….the good thing is that i am workign on it, i envy those women who can eat anything and not put on a lb (silently cursing them under my breath). I am grateful however that becasue of this obsession i have started excercign regulary about 1 year now and all my medical stats have improved…so yeah!!! and in addition i have met soem great excercise partners/friends over the year…..(still have 20 lbs to go ((okay maybe 15, no def 20) to be where i want to be 🙂
  4. I would love to learn to bellydance…….i think it is sooooooooo sexy…..went as far as getting my grilfriend to copy some dvd’s for me, but they didnt work….maybe i should just buy them instead, or better yet…..does anyone give bellydancing lessons in Kingston……I will sign up…email me!!! 🙂 (i have only admitted this to two persons)
  5. I really love reading…….I have somewhat grown out of the lovey dovey mills and boons that were the craze in high school. The last book i read – Honeymoon by James Patterson, next one lined up, the Fifth Horseman – same authour. Loved all four of Dan Brown books- he wrote the Da Vinci Code……Along this line, i also love watching documentaries about space and nature related stuff…… yeah yeah…boring and geeky ..right
  6. I have been working at the same group of Companies since i left University some 17 years ago…….Complacent???? or Committed?????The good thing is that i have goen through many different positions at different companies within the group so it is not like i have been doing the same thing for all those years……I dont think i have found what i was meant to be doing with my life..(if at 40, that age coming up nxt mth, sounds scary huh, nah…i really dont have an issue with my age), but if at this stage i dont know what i want …..then heavens help me…problem is i dont think a lot of people really know what their true passion in life is!!! much less to be living it….
  7. I love romantic movies………even though i am not a very expressive person with my feelings…movies like When Harry Met Sally, Pretty Woman, Return to Me, Love Affair….. etc etc etc… I will watch all kinds of movies though, well all except the “kickers”…Cant understand what men get out of watching those…u know the ones that the words dont match with the movemnt of the mouth……
  8. I love 80’s and early 90’s music…….they are timeless, i think maybe each generation gets hooked to the music that was around in their prime party years…..not sayign that i cant and dont appreciate the now stuff…but the older music will win everytime……

Whew….what a long list this turned out to be, not knowign what the #$%# i was gonna write……..

Dont have 8 people to tag though, but will tag, Outerspace, Spice, Leon, Stunner and Kingston Girl….hope they will play along……it was kinda fun to do…

Heard on Fame this morning that the election date will announced over the next two weeks, and that it will be held before September 18th. So that leaves July, August, and well early Septemeber, although i doubt that….i think it will be in August….Anyway, whenever it is, i hope the killings related will be held to a minimum……..

So any wagers?

After my luck in the word cup cricket wager you should be afraid to bet me 🙂 

I still think the PNP will have the edge. It is really wrong though for one party to be in power for so long and it is not like the economy is booming……but again, who am i to talk, I have no vote…..and therin lies the problem, there are too many like me (who have no say in the matter) out there……

I searched for this just for “pioneer” :-), Seriously though, I would have posted a Happy Father’s Day for all the fathers who derserves to get the wishes…
An extra special one for you “pionner” if you are a dad!!!!!!!

IT’s SO NICE TO HAVE A DAD AROUND THE HOUSE
DADS are special people
No home should be without,
For every family will agree
They’re ‘SO NICE TO HAVE ABOUT’ –
They are a happy mixture
Of a ‘SMALL BOY’ and a ‘MAN’
And they’re very necessary
In every ‘FAMILY PLAN’ –
Sometimes they’re most demanding
And stern, and firm and tough
But underneath they’re ‘soft as silk’
For this is just a ‘BLUFF’ –
But in any kind of trouble
Dad reaches out his hand.
And you can always count on him
To help and understand –
And while we do not praise Dad
as often as we should,
We love him and admire him,
And while that’s understood,
It’s only fair to emphasize
His importance and his worth –
For if there were no loving Dads
This would be a ‘LOVELESS EARTH’.
By Helen Steiner Rice

All this furor surrounding the PNP choice to let Lisa Hanna contet the seat for SE St. Ann. Whereas she may not have any experience in the political arena (well that we know about, maybe she used to help her hubby for the JLP) one thing we know is she is not a “pretty dunce”…..She is popular and although we see many clips of the negative comments by the constituents….We will just have to wait and see whether her popularity will overcome that………but the prediction i am making is …I bet any money the reason why she was chosen ….is becasue she maybe slated to become the next tourism minister and this is just the foot into the door to making that possible…..We Shall See!!!!!!

 Hey, nothing much too talk about….down with a bad sinus attack so not feeling so great….just read a joke that made me laugh so thought i would share it…..Men beware 🙂 …here goes

The man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.p>

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
“Please wake me at 5:00 AM.” He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
the bed. ;”>The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”

Men are just not equipped for these kinds of games. 😀